Don't try this at home

I spent Saturday at the National Restaurant Show here in Chicago, tasting samples of nearly two dozen versions of alternative meats. Other than making sure I didn't need, or want, to eat for more than a day afterward, it was a delightful grazing session across the trade show floor.

Delightful, because at trade shows — even in those claustrophobic booths — the samples are prepared by chefs and other foodservice professionals.

So taste-testing at…